Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Dear *AWDIWH* fans

Hi ladies and thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read this...

I know how scary the situation some of you are in is, I don't say this as someone who read a book or a dr or someone who is just trying to make you feel better I say this as someone who sat where you're sitting as someone who not all that long ago was doing just what your doing...

My husband deployed twice to Afghanistan in support of OEF. Both times a MP, once a regular MP and once a K9 MP. Neither time was he on a FOB.

I don't like to go into Joshs story on here because it isn't my story to tell. Also, there are parts of it due to OPSEC and respect for the wives of those who were KIA on the deployments that just doesn't need to be made public at all.

The first deployment was from Jan 07-April 08 That one was bad... But the second, April 10-May 11 was horrific. Things were on edge before he left the second time and the second deployment just sealed our fate.

Cliffnotes: Shit hit the fans in Oct of 2011, he was hospitalized on a 51/50 after I called 911, he ended up staying in patient for 3 full months. He now is in therapy 3 times a week, on a whole list of meds and still isn't the man I married, still isn't the man I kissed goodbye at the airport... When we fight and I bring that up he reminds me that man is dead now... It feels like a knife going straight through my heart...

Josh is being medically retired, we were given his ratings a few weeks ago and this week are expecting his orders to clear and begin terminal leave.

I want each and every one of you to know I am here for you!!! I am currently working to make Life After Homecoming a charity... I want to have a 24 hour hotline not for the soldiers and not ran by the military... A hotline that a wife can call at 3am when her husband just had a flash back and she knows she can't tell her friends (or atleast I know I felt I couldn't) and wants to talk to someone who understand but what's to be sure it won't end up in their records or in the hands on the chain of command.

Message me day or night, If you need to talk I am available here or I will gladly give you my number to call or text... 

I write this to release what I've been holding inside for many years. I am VERY aware the grammar and punctuation is awful, many times when I write we've had an exceptionally bad day and I'm writing this from the blogger app on my iPhone in bed crying so I'm very sorry for that... I thought about going back and editing it but I don't want to take away from the true emotion.

Thank you for reading and I hope to talk soon


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