Sunday, September 9, 2012

K9 School (March 09-July 09)

This was our first year of marriage... we spent most of it at Lackland AFB in TX it was amazing <3 I flew between TX and NJ most of the year planning our big wedding
(Look how young we were hehheh)
(My first tattoo :D Yes they match and yes they are real)

Feb, 2009
So Josh came home today with a lil tidbit of news... He's leaving even early then I thought... I'm not ready for this... We JUST got married... I'm not ready for him to leave..

He's gonna go to this school for 4 1/2 months, come home in Aug for the big wedding and then boom at ANY point after that I'll get 3 weeks notice and thats it, my husband is gone for a year...

It feels different this time... I mean, I've been here before, I've done this before, but this time I'm his wife... I'm using to falling asleep in his arms and waking up to him kissing my forehead as he leaves for PT... I'm used to waiting for him to get home from work everyday so we can watch TV or go to the store, just be together...

I'm gonna go get into bed with him right now... I'll write more when he's at work tommrow...

Summer 2009 Plans

April 25th- Leave TX and go back  to NJ

May 3rd- My Bridal Shower

June 5th- Amanda's Sweet 16

June 17th- PA with grandma and Jimmy to see a show and go to the Hersey Factory

June 18th- Back to TX <3 Back to my love <3
PHL to IAH landing at 6:09pm
IAH to SAT landing 8:21pm :D

July 4th- Back to NJ
SAT to IAH landing at 2:42pm
IAH to PHL landing 9:26pm

July 21st- TX with grandma, Amanda, and Jimmy
PHL to IAH landing at 10:15am

July 22nd- Driving to Austin with Grandma, Jimmy and Amanda to visit TXU for Jimmy

July 23rd- Driving to San Antonio to see my Joshua!!!!!

July 24rd- Josh graduates from K9 school!!!! After graduation, we're driving back to Houston

July 25th- Flying back to NJ
IAH to PHL landing at 9:23pm

July 26th Back to WA!! WOOHOO!!!
EWR to SEA landing 10:23pm

July 31st- Girls night out in WA :D

Aug 4th- Leave starts, Back to NJ for the WEDDING!
SEA to EWR landing at 3:30pm

Aug 5th- Josh's parents arrive in NJ at 2pm

Aug 6th- Rehersal Dinner

Aug 7th- OUR "I do take 2" WEDDING YAY!!!

Aug 8th- Taking everyone to NYC

Aug 12th-15th- Me and Josh are goin' to Wildwood NJ for our sorta honeymoon<3 YAY JERSEY SHORE TIME!

Aug 16th- Back to WA
Leave PHL to IAH landing at 8:17pm
IAH to SEA landing at 1:20am

Thats all I know as of right now but DAMN right? lol

March 2009
So Josh has been gone a week now... and I feel like I'm only half of a person... Sorry I haven't written anything I just haven't been fuctioning... 
When Josh left, Cate met up at the kennels at 4am and brought me home... I took some pills and went back to sleep and then I woke up at noon and rolled over and realized Josh wasn't there... and I broke down... and I realized OMG he's not coming home for a LONG time... when Josh called I told him it seemed like the house was empty without him... I kept expecting him to come home from work and just walk in and he never did...
Finally I just couldn't take it anymore (OK who am I kidding I couldn't take being without him after about 2 hours) so I got a plane ticket, packed up the 3 boys and fly back home to Jersey... 
When Josh was in Afghanistan I was always able to write stuff... express my thoughts and feelings thru my words but now that we're married and everything I just can't do it like that anymore I dunno why... Its like my heart is so broken that he's away from me that I can't do anything but cry...
So I'm gonna try to write something for Josh right now...

Dear Joshua...
Dec 29th is the happiest day of my life... For the simple reason that its the day my life truly began... its the day I became your wife.  You mean more to me each day and I know I've been a real pain in your ass lately but please know its only because I love you and the idea of how far away from me you are is killing me... 4 months is all we have to get thru and in the long and short of things its really not that much... I mean deployment is gonna be WAY worse... I miss you in ways you'll never understand and knowing you miss me like that makes me feel a little bit better... I know it sounds stupid but most of what I feel is stupid lately hehe I'm rambling now so I'm gonna stop this is NOWHERE near as good as my 4am Deployment love letters LOL I love you baby!

Ok I'm gonna go now... I have the Twilight DVD running so I might as well watch it :D

April 2009

Having Josh be away from me has not been easy, but I've suprised myself... I'm handling the distance far better then I ever thought I would... Josh even told me the other night that he expected me to melt down and I haven't... its odd, I've kinda slipped back into my old life now that I'm home and sometimes I have to remind myself I'm not Sherie Esposito anymore, I'm Sherie Tucker and I am infact married no matter how far away my husband might be lol
When I was in WA with Josh I never messed up signing my name... from day 1 that it was change it was just... natural, it was like I knew this was how my name was ment to be as thou I'd been signing it like that my whole life and now that I'm home I keep messing up and its funny to me...

Being Josh's wife is the most amazing ride I've ever been on and I love every twist and turn... its kinda like a rollercoaster ridden in the dark... you never know whats gonna come next

I am so proud of myself for being able to prove to myself, my family and Josh that I can funtion as "ME" not just as "Sher and Josh" 

Everytime I think I can't fall any more in love with Josh he goes and amazes me...

I dunno how I got so lucky as to have a man I would die for who loves me as much as I love him

I have someone who I don't have to be anyone but myself around and I am without question the luckest girl alive for that <3

Josh is thousands of miles away from me but when we talk I feel like he's right next to me...

I know these next few months are going to be hard, harder then I can even begin to imagine but at the same time they are totally worth it because at the end, my hero will be in my arms again <3

Edward Cullen has nothing on my superhero husband <3

April 23,2009

One year ago today, Josh came home from Afghainstan... WOW can anyone believe its been a year because I know I can't... SO much has happened and yet it still feels like it was yesterday that I was sitting and waiting for him

I've forgotten how hard deployment really is... I've forgotten how much it hurts to be away from him... the short time apart we spent last month reminded me slightly but lets get real, He's in effing TX... I can visit him anytime (As I have) and I can call him whenever I want...

Afghanstan is different... I have to REALLY worry that he's ok, not just bitch at him when he eats Pizza Hut for dinner 3 nights in a row that its gonna make him sick...

I forgot what it feels like to be glued to my cellphone like a lifeline, a few weeks ago Josh called and I was watching TV and I said "Sorry babe I'm a lil busy I'll call you back in a bit" something I would have NEVER done when he was deployed.

I look at girls like Lori and Shannon and think to myself "I don't know if I can be THAT strong again" I mean, Kasey has been in Iraq for over a year and Lori has stayed at Ft Lewis all by herself and she's holding it together and doing everything right... and Shannon, Chris just left her for the 2nd time in a year and She's pregnant and she's holding it together 100% for herself and her unborn daughter... It makes me honored to be able to say such strong woman are my friends. and when I talk to them and spend time with them I hope that they will rub off on me and when Josh has to leave I can maybe be able to function half as well as they are...

Its not even the deployment I'm scared of I don't think... its the 6 months after... the months where last year my world fell apart... the months that I had to sit on the sidelines and watch the love of my life fall apart... 

Josh is amazing on deployment, I know he can do it. I know he knows what he's doing. I trust him and I trust all the guys he works with. 

Its coming home that Josh isn't so good at.  I think we all know that at this point... 

He's finally normal again, he's finally the man I fell in love with again and I'm not ready to give him up yet... I know this next homecoming is gonna be hard I know what I'm in for this time and I know that in order to keep Josh I have to let him go and do his own thing for a bit after homecoming...

I just hope that I can be half as good at this next deployment as the amazing girls I'm lucky enough to call my closest friends <3

Congrats on one FULL year in America 66th MP Company! 

May 31,2009

So Josh is almost done with K9 school and I'm SO fucking excited... I can't wait to go back to OUR home... and once we're there we're gonna look for a house to buy and I couldn't be happier...

But at the same time, a black cloud looms over our happy world, one word that threatens everyday to tear my happily ever after to bits for 15 months... deployment...

Someone high up is gonna drop orders and thats it... my husband is gone... I know I cheated this time... I didn't even make it a month without him... (** Note I meant I cheated by visiting him not like I cheated on him lol)

I'm not ready for him to leave again but I know he has to I know its his job and I'm SO proud of him for not shying away from his duties as a soldier...

All I want is 1 more Christmas... thats ALL I'm asking for... just let us make to our 1 year anni... I want 1 year with my husband before he's sent to the desert... 

Please pray for that for me...

June 25, 2009

So Josh graduted his K9MP course yesterday... and he graduated #1 in his class, with some MAJOR honors (When he explains to me who it was who gave him coins and signed the paper again I'll update this haha)

I'm flying back to NJ tonight for the final fitting on my gown and then on Sunday night I'm flying back to WA

I know it sounds so stupid cuz I know I'm gonna see Josh again tomorrow night but I was crying when I dropped him off at the airport today ahahah I need help...

Ok... I gotta run! Bye!!

No comments:

Post a Comment