Friday, December 21, 2012


The weirdest things trigger my anxiety :/ I was just scrolling though FB and saw a post about a homeless man and his dog and the thought of that poor puppy, or any puppy, going hungry made me sick and got me thinking about Guinness and how Id give anything for her and then my mind goes right back to the MEB...

I know that no matter how bad it gets Guinness, as well as Josh and I will be taken care of worst case even if we did lose the house as a result of the MEB we can go back to NJ my parents would never turn is away but I can't help but worry...

I wish I knew what was going to happen I wish I knew when he would be getting out and what our rating will be so I can plan our future...

The not knowing is the most stressful part...

Right now were in the car headed up to NJ for Christmas so I better stop typing before I can car sick :/

Saturday, December 15, 2012


I always wanted a sister ever since I was a little girl but sadly I have 2 younger brothers and ended up marrying an only child so all hope for a sister was lost... Or so I thought.

When I got married I had no idea about friendship, I had no idea how strong of a bond could be formed and how quickly it could happen.

When Josh deployed, I learned what true friendship was... I don't care what anyone says the women you go though deployment with are the best friends you will ever have

Those are the women who hugged me while I watched Josh board a plane... Who held my hand as I walked out of the airport not sure if I'd ever see him again, who's lap I laid on while waiting for a call when he was medivaced to BAF, who's shoulder I cried on, who I called in the middle of the night just to hear someone tell me everything would be ok...

And all those things they did for me I e done for them... For all the things I say bad about the army this is one thing I can thank them for... Thank you for giving me the best friends a girl could ever ask for... The it's never to late I'm on my way don't worry your never alone kinda friendships

I always wanted a sister... and thats when I realized I had one.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Dear MEB board...

So today I spent my day writing a letter to the MEB board explaining how Josh's injury has effected our lives... How weird a letter of 5 or 6 lines took me all day... I couldn't figure out the words to use, how do you express in words how much something hurts, how lonely you are, how scared you are, how scarred you are, how broken you are...

How do you show them who he was is not who they returned to me... The man who left is not the man who came home...

The only way I can explain it in words is this song by Reba McEnryre... The song is called "She can't save him" th song is about a drunk but it kinda fits PTSD too... Ill post the song a little later...

I won't be posting the letter... Not til the MEB is complete and due to the fact that we are now talking to JAG about his Narsum I can no longer talk about the MEB on here or give any more details about his injury for the time being... Only about me :/

I'm going to keep writing in my personal diary as we go though this process and as soon as our attorney gives me the go ahead ill post it all

I worry about the MEB I worry about what is going to do to our lives if hell be able to work if he can be a cop like he wants...

I hope so...

Monday, December 10, 2012

Criminal minds

Lets be clear up front: Criminal Minds is *not* bed time TV for paranoid ladies who live in NoVa lol

I just went around the house and made sure every window is closed set the alarm and locked the dog in the room with me (Josh is sleeping in our room and I chose to go in the spare room because I'm sick and coughing and snoring so rather then keep us both us I'm in the other room)

And yet my dumb ass can't just turn off the show grrr

Sometimes I wish I could just turn off the paranoia...

The big thing going on for us right now is the MEB is about to go to the PEB... I'm in the process of writing a letter to the PEB explaining how Josh's Injury has effected our lives :/

After the paperwork goes to the PEB we have about 90 days left in the Army which seems so unreal...

I really wonder what our life is gonna be like... I'm most scared of our mortgage... I hope and pray we get enough of a rating to make it til the post 911 GI bill bah kicks in

Ok I'm off to bed for tonight ill write more tomorrow :)

Friday, December 7, 2012

Disney Trip (At Home)

So we went to Disney and it was utterly amazing. It was the best weekend we've had in a long long time!

We got there on Thursday night and ate dinner at Uno's Pizza... I expected to get there and get the car and get to the hotel much faster then we did... We didn't end up getting there until about 10pm and were so tired... Our hotel had a sleep number bed and OMG it was amazing it was like sleeping on a cloud...

On Friday morning we got up and picked up our tickets for the park and the concert and then went back to the hotel, Josh went to a store to buy an Ipad while I took a nap and when he got back we went swimming... it was so cool to go swimming outside in Dec haha Then we got showered and changed and headed to Downtown Disney... We ate dinner at House of Blues then walked around for a bit until the concert started It was a really good show and it was amazing to see Josh acting like his old self.. I was shocked by how well he handed the crowd, it was a sold out show and honestly it was so crowded that I even had quite a bit of trouble dealing with it... I was able to get him an autographed poster and it was the first time in a LONG time I've seen his eyes light up like that

We got back to the hotel at around 1am and went right to sleep... and were up early the next morning to go to the parks...

We went to Epcot and Hollywood Studios on Sat... We were there from about 10:30am-8:30pm and were SHOT by the time we got home! We spent most of the day with my cousins (Great time!) then hopped over to Hollywood Studios to see the Osborne Family Lights and they were utterly unreal like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen there were thousands and thousands and thousands of lights on ever surface

On Sunday we slept in and relaxed around the resort, swam for a bit, ate a quiet dinner at the Buffet at Shades of Green before heading over to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party at the Magic Kingdom... It was a great night we were there from 7-11pm and there were like zero lines... we got on every ride, got some pretty great pictures taken for our Christmas cards, met the Princesses (LOL!) and watched the Holiday "Wishes" Fireworks show over the castle

On Monday we were supposed to go home but neither of us wanted to hehe So we changed our hotel reservations and our flights and stayed at Shades of Green another night just relaxing at the resort... swimming, walking around the grounds, spending time together... it was perfect <3

At night on Monday right before we went to bed I sat on the balcony of our room and watched the fireworks at the Magic Kingdom... I wanted Josh to watch with me but he said he couldn't handle it and asked me to shut the sliding door if I was going to watch so I did...

It was a fantastic trip and we agreed that we're gonna try to do something like this every 3-6 months a small get away just the 2 of us :D

The next one we are planning is to Cali for the Winchester Mystery House hehe

That was the good part of the week the bad part is I'm sick now (BOOOO) So I'm gonna go back to sleep :(

I'll add pictures to this later! Night All!

Disney Trip (Written On the plane there)

Disney 2012-Take 2

So as many of you know by now I’m kind of a Disney addict! No, that’s an understatement hehe I would live on Main St USA if given the option! As I write this I am sitting on a Southwest flight headed straight for the happiest place on earth and its taking everything I have to control myself excitement!

The plan for this trip is as follows:

Land in Orlando International Airport at 6pm, pick up rental car, drive to hotel

We plan to lay low tonight, relax at the resort maybe go to dinner at the Orlando Ale House (A fave restaurant of mine) but more then likely we’re gonna end up ordering pizza and chilling in the hot tub I’d also like to get a few chapters of Life After Homecoming the book written I find it easier to write when I’m at a hotel, Esp when I’m at a hotel alone so I may send Josh out for a while to go explore the city or head over to Downtown Disney’s Disney Quest attraction which I know he’s a big fan of

Tomorrow morning at 10:30 we have to go pick up tickets to the concert and Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party from my cousin who was awesome and bought them ahead of time for me :D

Then then its back to the hotel to lay in the sun by the pool til our dinner reservation at 4:30pm at Downtown Disney (We’re eating at Raglon Roads the Irish pub over there tomorrow night)

The Rise Against concert is from 7-who knows when

On Sat morning we’re going to get up bright and early and head over to Epcot (Hopefully around 9:30am-ish) spend the day there then head over to Hollywood Studios at night to see the Osborne Family Lights

On Sunday we are debating going to Sea World in the morning but we’ll see how it all pans out then at night we’re headed to The Magic Kingdom for Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party from 7-midnight

Monday morning we fly back home in the morning (Boo!!)

It should be an eventful and exciting weekend!

I’m already starting to plan my next trip to Disney! (I try to get there about every 6 months or so thank GOD for the Military Discount they offer it makes the trip so much more affordable!!!)

The next time I go I am bringing a bunch of girlfriends with me which should be loads of fun! Right now I’m in the very beginning stages of planning that trip trying to pick if Shades of Green, one of the All Star resorts, a Fort Wilderness Lodge or an off property hotel is our best bet…

When I get to Orlando tonight I’m going to create a group for the ladies who are going on the trip so we can start planning and get the ball rolling I wanna get the reservations early so we get the resort we want, the room we want at the price we want!

The next time Josh and I are planning to go is in November of 2013 I know that already We’re gonna head down for the Food and Wine Festival at Epcot which just so happens to fall on my birthday! Works out perfect!! I’m gonna start booking that as soon as I get home as well for the same reason. I’m really not sure which way I wanna go for us on the next trip I’m gonna talk to Josh about it when he finishes watching the show he has on his ipod…

Thoughout this trip I’ll be updating with pictures, tips, ideas and little hints :D Any questions feel free to ask I know Disney upside down and inside out!

Ok time for me to turn off the laptop I’m starting to get a headache hehehe Talk soon!!!