My marriage isn't perfect, my life isn't perfect... It's not even storm clouds it's a class 5 hurricane... A perfect storm.
Josh and I are separated and while that hurts in ways I can never fully express to anyone it's like I can finally breathe.
I've been seeing someone for a bit and I see now what a real relationship is. It's love, partnership, friendship... It's normal...
He kisses away my fears, holds me close and makes me feel safe... I can sleep in his arms and relax fully against his chest without fear of an outburst...
He makes me laugh and smile and I feel alive with him.
He's not Josh and I don't expect him to be but he's everything I never knew I wanted... It's like a breath of fresh air... Like I've been under water and he's my first breath of oxygen...
I never imagined my marriage would truly end but as I lay in bed next to this amazing loving caring supportive man I realize the end is only the beginning...
In the coming months my life will change again. The boy and I will be moving to California. I know it's the right move and I don't feel afraid like I expected to.
I feel excitement. It's like there's electric all around me and everything I touch shocks me. I'm shocked every time he touches me. I'm shocked by how gentle he is, how genuine, I'm shocked by his love and compassion... I'm shocked by the amount of support he gives me... How he can quiet all my fears with 1 kiss and how he can take away all my stress by pulling me in close.
I believe this is the start to my happily ever after.
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