Thursday, April 25, 2013

I guess I'm a heartless bitch :/

The women at Ft Myer act like I'm satan.

I've been with Josh almost 7 years, married almost 5 years... I've changed, Josh has changed, our marriage has changed...

When he went on his first TDY of our marriage, which was K9 school in March of 2009, I clung to him like white on rice for 72 hours leading up to him leaving... Like psycho clingy nut job status! I wouldn't let him outta my sight, took about 500 pictures like there was a chance that I'd forget what he looks like or that he may not come back from big scary San Antonio TX... Or like I wasn't gonna be down there with him in like 2 weeks...

When he left I cried like a little bitch... Full blown pity party... One of my best friends (who will remain nameless for her protection lol) ended up slipping sleeping meds into my soda so Id shut up and sleep LOL

That was 4 years and a deployment ago (we were not married when he deployed the first time)

Tomorrow I am going away for 4 days to NYC... Am I up his ass? Nope! I'm currently sitting in our car in front of a bar where he is doing stand up comedy... I went in, saw him perform, now I'm in the car listening to music while he enjoys time with his friends... No stress, no tears, no photo gallery just I love you Ill miss you Feed the animals don't forget to clean Jameson's litter box see you Monday :)

Cool, calm, normal!

I've realized in the past 5 years for this to work we have to be 2 separate people who work together not 2 people who are attached at the hip and unable to think for themselves!

If there was 1 thing I wish I could teach the new wives I meet its that just because I don't say it all the time doesn't mean I don't love Josh and miss him I've just realized all the years in the world won't bring him back TRUST ME I tried!

You have to have your own life and be able to function on your own in this type of situation you can't depend on your husband for everything because sooner or later he isn't going to be there to fall back on!

I'm not a heartless bitch, I'm not an unloving wife, I'm just realistic :/

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