Graduated

So do I get a party for graduating therapy?

Since Josh got really bad I've been going to therapy at least once a week... Sometimes as many as 3 times a week depending on how bad Josh was but lately I've been doing a lot better and everyone including my therapist is taking notice

The last few times I've gone to therapy I've really had nothing to talk about Its kinda weird to say this but I don't care as much anymore

I mean I care I DEFF care but I can't let what happened last year over power my life I can't let them win

When you break it down, I won. I have my husband and he's doing a lot better... Fuck them. They can't ruin my marriage I won't allow it!

So on Friday I went and the therapist basically told me I was doing a lot better and she didn't see a need for me to go as often anymore she said once a month should be good and that I have basically graduated therapy she still has to see me once a month because of my meds but other then that I'm 100 times better :)

I'm glad that I'm doing better but I can't help but fear when the other shoe is gonna drop...

I'm scared about the MEB :/ some people get 100% and others get 20% both having the same symptoms... What if Josh only gets 20%? How long is this gonna end up taking? One of the SGTs in Josh's unit has been waiting on his PEB since Oct... But I have a friend who's husband moved though it all super fast...

I wish I knew a date I wish I could plan ahead this whole waiting thing is making me nuts I don't like not knowing which pay check will be our last, how much I need saved to be sure our mortgage payment can be made while we wait for the VA pay to kick in, when he should apply for college to be sure he gets in...

There's so much to plan and none of it can happen til we have a percent and a date and honestly part of me doesn't want to get either thing because it means this is all really over...

I dunno...