Details, details...

I've basically told our whole story thus far... Nothing spectacular has been going on lately so I figured I could take this time of relative calmness to fill in some blanks... Go a little further into some parts of our story so I have more for the book when I go in April

The time between k9 school and deployment 2 was rough... Some of the worst we've ever had... The fights were never ending and the hours he was gone were endless. But like I've said before I was far from just some innocent bystander who's husband would just leave her for days on end... I was just as nasty back to him, I resented him for his love of K9, for the long hours he had to train for the CQ shifts he had to do... For just about everything under the sun :/

In late Aug of 2009 I had to have my tonsils out. Now I'm not sure how many of you had tonsillectomies as adults but let me tell you it was AWFUL by far without question the worst pain I have ever been in in my life it was so bad I can't even describe it and instead of getting better each day post op like a normal surgery, it got progressively worse for 7 days.

Josh went into work that morning (which pissed me off) then came home to take me to MAMC for the surgery... I was in and out so fast it was crazy I was awake about 30 mins and they sent me home... Mistake 1.

Josh got me home and he promised he was going to stay home with me the rest of the day as the dr said I was at a very high risk of bleeding. I feel asleep as soon as he got me inside...
When I woke up a few hours later for my meds I realized I was alone in the apartment... Next to me was a note that said "sorry had to go to work be back later" and my heart broke...

Here I was only a few hours post op and he left me all alone to go do training... I know it sounds stupid but this surgery was different... Had he done that after the ankle surgery I had last year I don't think I woulda been as mad... I was able to think clearly and breathe normally and stand up (granted I was on crutches) but I could do it without my head feeling like it was going to explode...

Oh yeah, that's the thing noone tells you about getting your tonsils out! The sore throat is the least of your problems!!! Because of where they are located your nasal passage swells shut so you can't breath out of your nose, they clamp your tongue so it's swollen and black and blue like you had it pierced and can barely fit in your mouth and you got the sensation of severe ear pain... Awful.

I remember laying there trying so hard not to cry because of how bad it hurt to cry and wanting to call him but knowing I couldn't talk to do so...

He finally came home hours later and was like "yeah sorry I got bored" seriously?!

The days post op went on like that... He would go to work leaving me home alone for hours begging for death until finally we hit day 7.

I woke up on the morning of day 7 and told him I couldn't do it anymore I was in too much pain and begged him to take me back to the dr.

Good thing he did.

When we got there he let me off at the door and I walked (sorta lol) into the ENT clinic at MAMC clutching my purple garbage pale for dear life praying I wouldn't throw up (again) I went up to the desk and the burst was fantastic she took one look at me and sent me right back into an exam room

Turned out the bottom of the wound hasn't healed right and was still openly bleeding... That's why it hurt so bad and why I was throwing up blood

They gave me the option to be put under again but I decided to have them fix it right then and there (they did, it was awful lol) and the dr decided to admit me for IV pain meds and rehydration

MAMC is a massive hospital... The nurse offered to put me in a wheelchair to take me from the medical mall side that I was on over to the in patient side... Before I even had a chance to reply Josh was all "she can walk" WTF?!?

It took me over an hour to get to my hospital room and when I did I remember curling up on the bed and refusing to move...

Normally I'm scared to death of IVs and it takes quite a bit to get one ingo me... this was a tough stick because I was so dehydrated and I can't even remember the nurse putting it in...

They gave me my first dose of pain meds and hooked up the fluids and I felt a little better with each drop of fluid...

Josh was with me for about an hour and then shocker! Back to work he went...

He just left me all alone in the hospital claiming I'd be just fine...

He had CQ that night so he didn't come back to visit Til I was released the next morning when his CQ shift ended

I was seriously pissed at his sgts thinking how could they have him on CQ with me in the hospital and I later found out they offered to give him the day off... He chose to go in.

That kinda set the tone for how the next few months went... I never forgot how hurt I was that in my mind he chose sitting at the kennels over my health...

I think that's when I decided I hated K9...