Saturday, February 2, 2013


So I made it! 100 posts since I started this blog!

It's amazing how far I've come since I started this... When I started I was so angry I could barely think straight... I was stressed, scared, heartbroken...

I could barely say what happened to me out loud let alone handle sitting and writing it down... I couldn't even stomach to look at his psych records...

Just seeing the green folder that houses them would send me into orbit...

But in the past few days I've been able to tell so much more, I can say it out loud now without panic, and tomorrow my goal is to sit down and read Te Belvoir Records without having a panic attack.

I need to do it I have to get past it and the only way to do that is to read it and write it and say it until it doesn't hurt anymore Til I don't want to scream and cry anymore

I know what's in those records is untrue I know his dr lied... It's been a year if Josh was making that up he would have told me by now he wouldn't let me stress like this for no reason

Tomorrow I'm gonna take one final look back and then that's it the past will be just that the past and we will only look forward to our new lives without the army

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