Monday, February 18, 2013

How far is too far?

So I haven't really talked about this topic much but I might as well do it now, I mean it's a huge part of what we have going on here...

Josh and I have been seriously talking about starting a family these past few months we both know we want children it's just as issue of is now the "right time" I mean we're 25, we are both pretty selfish and self involved... He likes to go hang at the VFW I like I stay up all night and sleep all day, we both like to take random trips where we just throw Guinness and the car and go and then there's all the issues of his health and the MEB and how that's going to effect our future... So basically were stuck :/

We know we're going to need help getting pregnant it's not something that's just going to happen for us like it does for most... Because of the side effects of his meds were going to have to carefully plan it all out and may need medications or possibly IUI or IVF... And that's where things get blurred for me...

How far is too far?

Do we want a child bad enough to have him skip his meds for a few days when I'm ovulating? What if that's not enough? Do I want to take medications that could cause multiplies? Do I want to give myself shot after shot of hormones which may or may not work or again could cause multiplies? Ethically am I ok with "playing God" with IVF? What do we do with the "left overs", what if I end up pregnant with 4, 5 or 6? Do we believe in selective abortion? Do we risk my health to attempt to carry them all and end up with a bunch of babies in the nicu who may or may not survive and if they do could have lasting health issues?

Do we want a child that badly?

And further more, do we want said child now?

I see all my friends getting pregnant and having children and part of me wants that too I spend time with their kids and sometimes want my own but other times I can't Stand them!

I know it's different when they are yours because you raise them how you want they listen to you but am I ready to give up my life as I know it for someone else?

Tomorrow we have a therapy appt and I think I'm gonna bring this topic up and see if the dr has any books she can recommend on the ethical side of this... I mean there's no right or wrong answer there it's all gonna come down to what we believe :/

So... How far is too far?

No comments:

Post a Comment