Sunday, February 3, 2013

Fear of Flying

So it's 10:08pm on Sunday night and I'm freaking out.

I'm trying to keep my breathing level, trying to stay calm so as to not let Josh know how I'm ready to explode on the inside...

Were laying in bed watching Homeland (it's my new guilty pleasure I can't get enough of it!!)

But yeah I'm freaking out about going to WA...

I have no idea why I'm freaking out it makes ZERO sense at all! I've been waiting for this for months counting down the days Til I can see my friends again Til I can be back in the place that I feel safe the city I Love

But here I lay anyway inches from a panic attack because I'm scared of leaving Guinness home lol

I told Josh a few hours ago how I feel and he told me to take some deep breathes that everything is gonna be ok and I want to believe him

I know I'm doing the right thing by going I need to be with my real friends for a few days I need to be away front this place to clear my head

I wonder sometimes if Josh and I should take the settlement from the car accident law suit, fix up the house and sell the fucker... Sell it and just move somewhere totally new where all the memories of what has happened are gone...

If things go really well in WA I think that's what we may do...

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