Saturday, February 2, 2013

CO and the lies they told

This part of the story is VERY hard for me... By this point I was already pretty far into the center of the worst of it

Josh told me to meet him at Rader Clinic on Ft Myer, so I did.

I did everything I was told just like I was told to do it. Josh showed up kissed me told me he loved me and then he was called back into his dr appt he motioned for me to join him but his dr refused so I sat in the lobby and waited

And waited and waited and waited for hours... We're talking like 5 hours went by and noone would tell me anything noone would let me talk to Josh

The MPs showed up at about 4:30 and told me Josh's CO wanted to see me so I was like uhhhh ok??

And that's when hell broke loose.

I remember being called into his commander's office and him looking at me saying "your making me do things I don't want to do" and I all I could think was "well then don't"

He wouldn't tell me where Josh was he wouldn't tell me anything at all he told me that he was putting an MPO between us because Josh's illness was my fault... Um WTF?! I sat in shock as he told me I made up Josh's deployments and how his dr thought it would be better for him if I left and never came back

I dunno about you but I don't know who the fuck that asshole thought he was! How could he sit there and tell me to leave my hospitalized husband

Who the fuck was he to act like he had any idea what was going on in our lives?! He had no idea how bad things were how I begged for help how Josh begged for help

Josh out right TOLD his dr he was gonna kill himself and she did nothing but somehow it's my fault? Somehow I caused all this... Not the army, not the war, not that dr all me

I left Ft Myer in a panic I didn't know where to go or what to do the thought of going back to our house was too much to bare the thought of driving to NJ was overwhelming I had no friends to run to so I sat in the truck at the Pentagon City Mall parking lot for hours sobbing unable to move, unable to think, unable to pull myself together

That was it, the lowest point of my whole life... That my friends was rock bottom...

No comments:

Post a Comment