Monday, September 17, 2012

Honest

The theme for today is a little drug induced honesty... All drugged up with noone where to go and noone to talk to I figured why not?

I just finished watching the season (Possibly series final) of Army Wives... I've seen every episode and used to truly love the show... I used to be able to totally relate to it but this season its kinda sucked if you ask me...

The eppie ended with 1st Brigade deploying (again)... Deployment is a funny thing... something that unless you've been there will never understand you can run your mouth all you want about how your an Army (Military) wife and all separations are hard and blah blah blah all you want but deployments are different... Personally I don't feel your truly a military wife (Or truly a soldier for that matter) til you've done one.

My husband has done 2 and I can honestly say I am so thankful thats all he will ever do... I don't ever want to have to live like that again...

The time leading up to the deployment was worse then the true deployment for me... I went kinda crazy... I remember about 3 days before he left I went and took a long bath and when the water finally got cold, I got out, walked into the living room wearing only a towel and screamed "CANT YOU JUST GO ALREADY?! Just go and  get this started so it can end!"

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who compare the field (Basic/AIT/any school/any TDY) to a deployment... I don't care how long your husband is gone for, if its not a deployment, you don't understand. Its a different kind of pain its something that unless you've been there you can't explain or understand... Its more then just missing him... its an empty sunken feeling...

When he left the second time I remember driving back home and thinking to myself "How is everyone else's life just going on" I saw people walking on the sidewalks, playing with their kids in the yard, going about their day and it made no sense to me how their lives were just going and mine was frozen in place...

It makes me NUTS that some guys get to sham out their whole careers and never go while others have to go every other year its just not fair... I don't think you should be allowed VA benefits if you've never deployed... Wow I'm being a lot more honest right now lol I haven't been this open about my feelings before...

People who fake PTSD and claim they have it when they don't are the reason people like my husband, and my friends husbands who are truly sick can't get treatment... Its sick.

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