Sunday, September 30, 2012

What if?

So I'm watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy and in this eppie Meredith is dreaming about how her life would be had her mother married Richard and she was raised in a loving home and it got me thinking... What if...

What if I hadn't asked for help? What if I hadn't told anyone Josh was sick?

Would we be happier? Would I be healthier? Would he be happier? Would he be healthier? Would he even be alive?

Would he have really killed himself? Would he have just healed on his own?
Would he have divorced me?
Would he be deployed right now?

What would we be like? Would he still be K9? Would we have stilled PCSed or would we be happy at Lewis?

What if he hasn't re-enlisted the first time? Or the second?

What if we would have gotten married in April of 2008 like we were supposed to?

He says that everything happens for a reason... If we woulda gotten married in April of 08 instead of December, I woulda ended up pregnant on our wedding night (that was the plan back then) I would have been too pregnant to fly back to Jersey when Grandpa died and I would have never seen him alive again...

Had we gotten married in April, we'd more then likely be divorced because he wanted to drink and party and get it all outta his system but I wasn't legal yet so it woulda lead to fights...

What if I hadn't pushed for him to get pcs orders? Would we still be living in WA?

What would I be like?

Would I be happy?

What if none of this ever happened?

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