Saturday, September 15, 2012
Late night paranoia
It's 1am and I'm high off my ass on narcotics... I should be sound asleep or giggling while staring at a wall but instead I'm laying here staring at my beautiful puppy, Guinness freakin the frig out... I've been working on paranoia with my therapist... But when it hits like this in te middle of the night there's no one to talk to, no way to calm down... I just lay here going though the worst cases in my head... I had a special alarm system added to the house to keep Guinness extra safe... It's not enough... Nothing ever feels like its enough... I am always so scared... Scared to lose Josh, scared something will happen to Guinny, scared about my family, about fires, about natural disasters you name it I'm scared of it... Paranoia is a bitch.